Issue of Identity

Today our department hosted a program called Microaggressions where several individuals presented on different aspects of microaggressions. Microaggressions are "brief and commonplace verbal, behavioral, or environmental indignities, that communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative slights and insults toward marginalized people. These events can be intentional or unintentional. Perpetrators of microaggressions are often unaware that they engage in such communications when they interact with marginalized people." Now, some of you might be thinking, what did I just say?! In broad terms microaggressions are for the most part unintentional racist comments and/or actions.

I attended one of the workshops which was presented by a Hispanic doctoral student at Teacher's College where he addressed the awareness of microaggressions and multiple identities. He got me to reflect in past acts and statements I have expressed and how I have been guilty of microaggressions. Often many of us do not think about our statements and remarks because we say them as jokes. Like when we used to joke around with my older sister's deployment to Korea. We woud joke how she would fit in, or even myself. How I appear "middle eastern". And above all else, the single most guilty microaggression I have been guilty of was during my sister's wedding. One of her bridesmaids is vegetarian and as Anet and I drove to meet the rest of the girls, they asked if we could bring lunch. We completely forgot that she was vegetarian and did not eat meat, and unconsciosly we got a burger for her. Just thinking about it, I feel horrible in that these microaggressions as so subtle you never know when you have been guilty of one. I was completely taken aback this.

As part of his presentation, he had us reflect on our own multiple identities. I never thought about having "multiple" identities. However, I identify as Hispanic, Latina, lower class, heterosexual, mexican, etc. One of the activities had us answer a series of questions that put our multiple identities to work. I consider my self a lower class citizen and I shared how that has influenced my career choice. I have decided to enter a field in where I can educate others about access to higher education as well as a career choice where the skills I learn and strengthen can be put to use in any other organization where I can help the youth, adult, etc. And because my social class has taught me that happiness and being free is what life is about, I would like a family of my own where the same values of happiness and freedom will be expressed. Despite my social class having a somewhat positive affect on me, it has influenced my ethnicity (and this is where one entangles their multiple identities). I am a latina of lower class and therefore there are expectations of me. It is expected of me to not go far because latinas generally drop out and begin raising a family and return home. This is a common stereotype that my family has defied.

I am blessed with a family whose values are more than that. I have a loving mother who always pushed me through elementary and HS, and now I am using that same energy to drive myself while she continues to motivate my younger sister. I have sisters who support me and will not let me get distracted. But I know in the back of my head as a latina and lower class citizen there are other Americans with my same multiple identities that opress us - Latinas. Sometimes as a latina I feel like one can only succeed so far before the guilt trip begins. You begin to be called too educated, too American, and have forgotten your gente. When this begins it makes me feel as if I am stepping on someone else's toes. But in reality, I am only trying to create my own identity and my own successes.

So . . . by getting my master's will I be seen as the one who forgot, who is using her own culture as scapegoats or will they see me for me and for what i have done?

A side note: I might sound a bit over-sensative, but I feel that because I am in an enviroment where social justice is the core of the university/culture, these issues are more present than ever compared to Texas. I'd just be So what?! However, I'd like to get some input from you.

Thanks for reading!